I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
