Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
