Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Help. Why am I so naked?
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