he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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