So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
