Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
