As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
try to milk me bitch
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
