her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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