Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
