Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
