i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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