I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
