i think my tv is drunk
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
