this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
