1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
