hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
