Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
