Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
