For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
