their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
