im drinking this country out of the recession.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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