i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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