I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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