What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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