We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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