Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
