Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
