In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
