I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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