Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
