I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You need Xanax blowdarts
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
