i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
