It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
