I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
