Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize