I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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