Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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