You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
