guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
