dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Panties = found
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
