You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
