saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
