Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
