OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
