So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
