I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
