I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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