If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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