Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
