Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
