I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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